How To Be Happy

I've always been depressed. I remember feeling unexplainable despair and sadness from as young as eight years old. It simply wouldn't go away. The urge to lay in bed and cry for hours was overwhelming. At fifteen years old, I would be up till 2 am, crying profusely, wishing I was dead and giving myself the worst mental beat-down possible.
Basically, I was trash and in a way, i still kinda am. I still suddenly cry while watching (the funny parts of) movies or while listening to upbeat music but it's safe to say that i am a whole lot better than i was years ago. I've been using some tricks for a while and i've improved a lot. Here's how I stopped being (too much of) a sad bitch:

1) Talk it out:
This is probably one of the hardest things to do. The thing with sadness is that it forms a cocoon around you. You hate the feeling but you also find a kind of solitude in it. It's like you're in your own dark bubble.
Well, you're going to have to pop that bubble and get out. Find someone (it could be a good friend, a sibling or your parents) to talk to.
Explaining your sadness is hard but it's got to be done. Say everything on your mind. Say it in your own words. The other person may not understand fully but you'll feel something has been lifted off your shoulders.

2) Get yourself a journal and write your feelings:
Couldn't find anyone to talk to? How about a diary? Pour your feelings into those sheets of paper. Cry while doing it if you want to. I started writing in diaries when i was in the ninth grade and I haven't looked back since.

3) Take a look around. The people around you may be the problem:
Toxic people are the worst! They have a way of draining your lifeforce while smiling at you. Ditch EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! I remember having a ton of friends but they were the most toxic ☣ and radioactive people alive. Once I was able to let go of them, I was happier. You will be too.
Note: the happiness doesn't kick in immediately. Like if you are recovering from a drug addiction, there'll be an initial unease and shock at letting go but after a while, you'll be fine.
Surround yourself with people who encourage you to get up, be active and be happy. Surround yourself with people who genuinely love you and will never talk shit behind your back. Surround yourself with people who don't sneer and bring you down once you tell them of a plan you have in mind.

4) Get this book:

When mum first shoved this book in my face I was all "😦 mum, what is this? I don't need this" but when I opened it up and started reading it, I found myself smiling at some of the things in there because I could relate to them.
'14,000 things to be happy about' by Barbara Ann Kipfer doesn't have an antidote to depression. It simply is a compilation of the little things that the author is grateful for and things we should be grateful for as well. It helps a lot because gratitude is the basis to happiness. Once you are able to identify those things that make you happy, you will be happy.

5) Start your own book:
Why not start a book like Barbara Ann's? Get a notebook and write down one thing you're grateful for each and everyday. Before you know it, you won't have to pick up a pen and the notebook. You'll find things to be grateful for easily.

6) Focus on the good things so the bad things go away:
Place two objects on either side of you. Now, turn fully towards one of the objects and make sure your attention is totally on it. Can you see the other object? No? That's exactly how life works! Just face the things that make you happy and don't even give a thought to the negative parts of your life. Did you just fail your test? Instead of being mopey about it, realize that if you hadn't failed, you wouldn't be able to identify your weak points so you can work on them.
When negative thoughts slip in, don't be upset. Just calmly, turn your attention to something positive.

7) You can't change your past - Accept that:
This was probably one of the biggest problems that I had during my era of despair. I would always look back and say "I should have done this" or "I shouldn't have said that". It was highly unhealthy and it only caused more problems.
Imagine a guy who is walking down the road. He accidentally trips on a stone and stumbles. When he gets back on his feet and starts walking again, he keeps looking back at the stone and saying "how could I have tripped on that? I should have been more careful!". He does this so much that he doesn't look at the hole in the road in front of him and then falls into it.
That's the perfect summary for what I'm trying to say.
You can't change the past. You can only look forward to make the future better.

8) Your body is yours - either learn to love and maintain it or shut the fuck up;
Are you God? No. Then why do you think you have the right to question his work? I'm sorry, sister, but standing in front of the mirror and staring at your flabby belly is not going to fix it. It only makes you more depressed by damaging your mood and thoughts. You could either go to the gym to fix it, or you can look away like there's nothing there and live with it but talking shit about your body is COMPLETELY OUT OF THE QUESTION! There's an element of truth in every lie so even when you 'jokingly' insult your body, there's an underlying truth in it and your brain is feeding on that negativity.

9) You're a queen, why can't you see that?:
Everyone is beautiful, okay? Everyone slays. It's just that some are more in-your face than others. You're cool. You're awesome. You should tell yourself that (literally) in front of the mirror everyday.
GOD IS NOT CRAZY! He knows why he created you the way he did! Quit being a blind bitch and look for the things that make you pretty and unique. It's there. You just don't notice it. Like I said earlier, focus on the good parts and ignore the bad.... If there's any. There is no such thing as someone being 'better than you'. The only thing that exists is someone having something 'different from you'.

10) Visit a therapist:
This is at the top of my "selfcare bucket list". We need professional help at some point or the other. There's nothing to be ashamed about and if anyone questions your decision to see a doctor, remember this; 'ASKING SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO BE MENTALLY STABLE WHY THEY'RE VISITING THE THERAPIST IS LIKE ASKING SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO BE PHYSICALLY FIT WHY THEY'RE VISITING THE GYM'. It's simply a dumb thing to do. So don't pay any attention to them.

11) Don't be scared to ask for hugs and a shoulder to cry on:
When you're having a breakdown and you need love and reassurance or just someone to cry on, find the people you feel most comfortable with (even if it's your school teacher) and go to him or her immediately! There is no reason to be embarrassed. Just go there, state how you feel (even if it's through tears) and ask if you could get a hug. I was so awkward about this when I was younger but now, I legit don't care. I will walk up to you and ask and if you say no, i'll move on and find someone else. It's that simple. In case you don't realize, hugs are healing for both the giver AND the receiver. So always think about it this way; you're getting comfort and helping out someone who may be in pain too.

12) Do what you love;
This tip is so crucial. It's one of the reasons most people are miserable as a 9 - 5 worker as an account or lawyer or whatever - They're not supposed to be there.  The truth is, if you're doing something forcefully or because you feel you don't have a choice, you're never going to enjoy doing it.  No matter how hard you or the outside world try to convince yourself, a little part of you will always remind you that this work isn't being done out of your own will and you're gonna feel like shit.
My advice: Stop whatever it is you're doing and start what you actually  want to do!
It sounds far fetched, like talk from a teenage airhead who doesn't know a thing about life. But believe me, it's a sound statement.
I hated my entire highschool life because I was a science student and I was struggling to keep up. It was one of the things that amounted to my depression.
After I had written my final exams and had securely left highschool, I thought "Do I really want to face this amount of depression in College too? Do I want to struggle this much? Do I want to go on being this sad?
My answers we're no, no and HELL, NO!
So I did the craziest thing no other Nigerian would have done.
I started over as an art student.
I didn't go to classes but I started studying all over on my own. It was tough and trying and I failed about 3 national exams in a row but I was at peace because I knew that I'd finally found what I really wanted to do so I wasn't sad. I knew my failure just meant I needed more practice.
Bottom line of what I'm saying is, no risk, no reward. It seems crazy but if it's going to make you happy, jump right in!

These are the things I've done so far to curb my sadness. I hope they work for you the same way they're working for me. And if you ever feel alone, don't worry. I got you. 😉